My dad passed away quickly and unexpectedly earlier this year. As I sat with my siblings and my mom that weekend, working through the list of immediate needs, writing the obituary became a priority. As a genealogist, I quickly volunteered to lead out on this project. While I definitely needed help from my family to finesse the wording, I had strong feelings about a few components I really wanted included in that obituary. My perspective was, “If I were trying to learn about this family in 50 or 100 years from now, what would I want to know?”
Digital obituaries today don’t really include cost-prohibitive length limits, so we can include so much information! I approached this thinking of my dad’s descendants and what they would love to learn about him. With that in mind, here’s my list of “requirements” for an obituary:
- Full name of the deceased. In my dad’s case, his given name is not the name by which most people know him. We made sure to clearly note that.
- Parents’ full names
- Accurate date and place of birth
- Childhood residence and a few little descriptions of childhood
- Full names of siblings and if they are still living. My dad only has one brother, so this was easy.
- Accurate information about his marriage with my mom’s full maiden name. We included a few sentences describing their relationship and their life together.
- All children’s names, including their spouses. We listed the six of us in age order.
- Full date and place of death.
- Information regarding the cemetery/final resting place. This included the memorial service information.
- Beyond the genealogical facts, we wanted to include my dad’s personality. We gave a summary of his career. We also talked about meaningful hobbies and a description of his involvement in church and social organizations.
Everyone of us has some experience with a loved one’s passing. When it comes time to create these documents that will holding lasting consequence, I hope we genealogists can rise to the occasion and create the document of our dreams.